Question: By Isha (name changed), US via email
I had been loving a guy in fact we had an affair. There are few things which I was not liking in that guy .......... I got ready to marry one guy which my parents decided and I got married to him. Now the problem is I can't not forget the first guy. I made a big mistake to go ahead with my parents and marry that guy. Now I don't want to live with him. I made a big mistake in my life it seems. Now I am regretting like anything. I am feeling guilty because my desire of getting better ruined my life.
Now I am thinking to go back to the guy whom I love after getting divorce.
One day I talked to my parents that I am not happy with my marriage. They said If you don't want to leave with him commit suicide. So far two times I had thought of doing that .....
Do you think because of family and all I should not break the marriage and forget the guy whom I love?
I hate my self by doing all of this mess. How could I play with my life. like this?
Please help me else would get mad. want to come out from all the mess ASAP and also want to find some respect for myself
Now I am thinking to go back to the guy whom I love after getting divorce.
One day I talked to my parents that I am not happy with my marriage. They said If you don't want to leave with him commit suicide. So far two times I had thought of doing that .....
Do you think because of family and all I should not break the marriage and forget the guy whom I love?
I hate my self by doing all of this mess. How could I play with my life. like this?
Please help me else would get mad. want to come out from all the mess ASAP and also want to find some respect for myself
Answer:
Generally people send me questions related to meditation. Anyway I will guide you on this personal issue also although my focus is on meditation.
Now coming to you. I will answer you now even though I dont know much about you. I will tell you the truth.
First of all understand this that even if you would have married the guy of your choice you would not have been happy. You will be in the same situation more or less. Then you would be thinking that why didnt I leave this guy as I knew his weak points and married a guy of my parents choice.
The reason is that the term "HAPPINESS" OR "SATISFACTION" has been misunderstood throughout the history. But if you are really a para-scientific thinker you can understand what I am telling you now very rare and secret thing.
When we were born we were with brain but without the mind. Just understand the mind is an artificial bundle of thoughts, conditions you learn in his society. It can be shattered with meditation. Mind is not a real thing.
Hence as you or most of the people who are inside mind thinks that by achieving something or by getting this or that they will get happiness. Inside the mind the Happiness is like a mirage. You spend you whole life thinking that yes now I will get happiness...now I have boy friend and have little sex..i will be happy ...now i am graduated ..i will be happy ..now i get a job..i willl be happy ..now i am married ..i will be happy ..now i have children i will be happy ...now i have new house...more money i will be happy ...now my children married and have their children..i will be happy .... haha ..and this goes like this and we never gets to that extreme of happiness which is driving us throughout the life and we die consciously without knowing the secret.
Got my point? Actually till we are inside the mind we can never reach that deep happiness and satisfaction which consciously or unconsciously we are looking for.
As now I understand the nuts and bolts of all of our body, organs , brain, mind and beyond mind , soul. I can tell you we are actually unconsciously searching for something else.
Few people due to this as they suppress their desires to get to that happiness become mad or become violent or murderer. As they have lost their consciousness and conscious part of thinking.
So the people who understand this whole process ......actually start their life in a different way. Those people are called "Yogis". Sri Krishna says in Geeta ..some people do pooja... some people do rituals ..some do donations ...but the biggest is the path of Yoga (read karmayoga) hence oh Arjuna BE A YOGI !
Once you understand this whole process and become and thinks and lives like a Yogi. Then you start your life in REVERSE ORDER.
As our mind cannot give us that DEEP HAPPINESS and as a YOGI now you know that actually that extreme happiness is not inside but outside the MIND.
So be a yogi and go beyond the mind. But also taking care of all small happiness in your mind and fulfilling them like tasty food, friends, drinking or whatever small happiness your mind wants. Once as a yogi you will fullfill these small desires you will leave them for whole life and they will not bother you in your mind.
Now comes the question, How to go Beyond the MIND? and is there really some way to go out of mind and have feeling of that EXTREME and DEEP HAPPINESS which will transform your life forever.
Yes, ancient Yogis and Rishis have found ways to go beyond mind and these techniques are called MEDITATIONS OR DHYAN OR YOGA.
Shiva was the GREATEST of all YOGIS alongwith KRISHNA.
Hence if you want you can learn these techniques which can include many different types of yogas, meditations, love expressions, aerobics etc.
Now the question is who is a Yogi and why I need to become a yogi to do all these beyond mind experiences?
A Yogi is who understands all the phenomenon of this universe, earth, human beings, life and death and concept of god and lives in this world like it is a DRAMA and he is playing a role given to him by someone. Although he is doing his role but he is not attached to it and he is just Acting and doing it like it is his KARMA which he has to do. Otherwise he is totally happy even without it also. As he knows and have already tasted that fruit of extreme happiness possible in a life time by way of meditation methods. He is living his life and doing his activities just as in a Drama and Enjoying each of his role upto fullest but Being AWARE of what he is doing ALL THE TIME. As an actor is aware of all of his acting. A Yogi never do anything unconsciously. He is playing his role as conscious and aware all the time and never waste a moment to enjoy and laugh whenever some moments like that comes in life.
AS IN DEEPEST LEVEL OF HIS BODY AND MIND HE IS ALL THE TIME HAPPY.
By reading till now I hope you must have got answers to many of your questions.
But dont misunderstand me here. I never said you should not take divorce. If you really want to leave your husband then you can leave him whether you will again marry your old boy friend or you will search of a new man taking care of your children if you have.
But again the question is whether even after marrying your old or new boy friend WILL YOU BE HAPPY ?
You cannot know now. Hence better is that FIRST you get that taste of deep love and happiness and after that you can decide on your own what really you want and ready to do. And at that moment whatever you will decide you will be happy throughout your life by that decision and will never repent of it again.
Hence be a Yogi and Remain Happy Forever ! Start from right this moment that You are the most happiest girl of this world and whatever happened to you in past you are not carrying it any further. Live by moment to moment.... sucking the entire juice of that moment and Enjoying it upto fullest. This is the biggest meditation of all.
Meditate and Smile now,
Read osho books and learn more about his meditations here www.oshoworld.com, www.osho.com
Now coming to you. I will answer you now even though I dont know much about you. I will tell you the truth.
First of all understand this that even if you would have married the guy of your choice you would not have been happy. You will be in the same situation more or less. Then you would be thinking that why didnt I leave this guy as I knew his weak points and married a guy of my parents choice.
The reason is that the term "HAPPINESS" OR "SATISFACTION" has been misunderstood throughout the history. But if you are really a para-scientific thinker you can understand what I am telling you now very rare and secret thing.
When we were born we were with brain but without the mind. Just understand the mind is an artificial bundle of thoughts, conditions you learn in his society. It can be shattered with meditation. Mind is not a real thing.
Hence as you or most of the people who are inside mind thinks that by achieving something or by getting this or that they will get happiness. Inside the mind the Happiness is like a mirage. You spend you whole life thinking that yes now I will get happiness...now I have boy friend and have little sex..i will be happy ...now i am graduated ..i will be happy ..now i get a job..i willl be happy ..now i am married ..i will be happy ..now i have children i will be happy ...now i have new house...more money i will be happy ...now my children married and have their children..i will be happy .... haha ..and this goes like this and we never gets to that extreme of happiness which is driving us throughout the life and we die consciously without knowing the secret.
Got my point? Actually till we are inside the mind we can never reach that deep happiness and satisfaction which consciously or unconsciously we are looking for.
As now I understand the nuts and bolts of all of our body, organs , brain, mind and beyond mind , soul. I can tell you we are actually unconsciously searching for something else.
Few people due to this as they suppress their desires to get to that happiness become mad or become violent or murderer. As they have lost their consciousness and conscious part of thinking.
So the people who understand this whole process ......actually start their life in a different way. Those people are called "Yogis". Sri Krishna says in Geeta ..some people do pooja... some people do rituals ..some do donations ...but the biggest is the path of Yoga (read karmayoga) hence oh Arjuna BE A YOGI !
Once you understand this whole process and become and thinks and lives like a Yogi. Then you start your life in REVERSE ORDER.
As our mind cannot give us that DEEP HAPPINESS and as a YOGI now you know that actually that extreme happiness is not inside but outside the MIND.
So be a yogi and go beyond the mind. But also taking care of all small happiness in your mind and fulfilling them like tasty food, friends, drinking or whatever small happiness your mind wants. Once as a yogi you will fullfill these small desires you will leave them for whole life and they will not bother you in your mind.
Now comes the question, How to go Beyond the MIND? and is there really some way to go out of mind and have feeling of that EXTREME and DEEP HAPPINESS which will transform your life forever.
Yes, ancient Yogis and Rishis have found ways to go beyond mind and these techniques are called MEDITATIONS OR DHYAN OR YOGA.
Shiva was the GREATEST of all YOGIS alongwith KRISHNA.
Hence if you want you can learn these techniques which can include many different types of yogas, meditations, love expressions, aerobics etc.
Now the question is who is a Yogi and why I need to become a yogi to do all these beyond mind experiences?
A Yogi is who understands all the phenomenon of this universe, earth, human beings, life and death and concept of god and lives in this world like it is a DRAMA and he is playing a role given to him by someone. Although he is doing his role but he is not attached to it and he is just Acting and doing it like it is his KARMA which he has to do. Otherwise he is totally happy even without it also. As he knows and have already tasted that fruit of extreme happiness possible in a life time by way of meditation methods. He is living his life and doing his activities just as in a Drama and Enjoying each of his role upto fullest but Being AWARE of what he is doing ALL THE TIME. As an actor is aware of all of his acting. A Yogi never do anything unconsciously. He is playing his role as conscious and aware all the time and never waste a moment to enjoy and laugh whenever some moments like that comes in life.
AS IN DEEPEST LEVEL OF HIS BODY AND MIND HE IS ALL THE TIME HAPPY.
By reading till now I hope you must have got answers to many of your questions.
But dont misunderstand me here. I never said you should not take divorce. If you really want to leave your husband then you can leave him whether you will again marry your old boy friend or you will search of a new man taking care of your children if you have.
But again the question is whether even after marrying your old or new boy friend WILL YOU BE HAPPY ?
You cannot know now. Hence better is that FIRST you get that taste of deep love and happiness and after that you can decide on your own what really you want and ready to do. And at that moment whatever you will decide you will be happy throughout your life by that decision and will never repent of it again.
Hence be a Yogi and Remain Happy Forever ! Start from right this moment that You are the most happiest girl of this world and whatever happened to you in past you are not carrying it any further. Live by moment to moment.... sucking the entire juice of that moment and Enjoying it upto fullest. This is the biggest meditation of all.
Meditate and Smile now,
Read osho books and learn more about his meditations here www.oshoworld.com, www.osho.com
love,
Noone
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